Getting past the next few months

Good morning Honey,

The new year has already used up one of its months and here we are into February.  Each day I think about you, who we were together and who I am now.  It is not an easy task.   Memories do not replace the present or the future although I am thankful for them.

I keep busy working two jobs and now I've started reading at bedtime so I don't stay up as late as I have been.  Shannon has taken an interest in cooking and is doing well at it.  I know you are proud of her.  

This year, by my reckoning, I have three hurdles to get through.  I have dealt with your birthday last year and mine this year.  They were not as bad as I expected.  Valentines day is coming soon and I don't look forward to it but it is coming and I will deal with it.

This March will be be what would have been our 30th wedding anniversary.  That is the day that will be the hardest.  I have arranged to be off work that day so I can be alone.  Then in May it will be a year since you had to leave.

These times that are coming up cannot be avoided.  I will take each one as they come and go.   Life is full of difficult times and happy times.  Unfortunately, the difficult ones tend to be more frequent and make the biggest impression.  I hope that after this year, the subsequent days will get easier.

I have no plan to pursue another relationship.  I have and continue to ask God to take away any romantic or sensual desires that are left in me.  I don't need them anymore as they were for you alone.    I am not bored or lonely except for missing you.  As time goes by and I get past these three upcoming times I will concentrate on other areas of my life.  I still would like to write more, read more and one day travel.  These things along with work will keep me busy until I am either too old or gone from this world.   We have four kids and their families as well that I love and love me.  They are always there for me to talk to.

Well honey, I guess that's it for now.  Love you and miss you.