Etiquette, Manners, Chivalry...all but lost.

Hi Honey and everyone else,

An incident described by a friend spurred me onto this rant.  He described a situation where while he was with his daughter, a stranger paid her a compliment in his presence.  I suppose there is nothing really wrong with that.  He was trying to be nice, I guess.  It just made me think about what would have been more appropriate.

I cannot claim to be an expert.  I was raised in Brooklyn, where people are perceived to sound bold and abrasive even when they are being nice.  Picturing this friends situation, it seems that the "gentleman" should have addressed the dad and asked him if it was okay to pay the daughter a compliment or perhaps just compliment the dad on having a lovely daughter.   I guess that is overly old-fashioned  or conservative of me.

Times have changed so I hear.   "Please, thank you, and you're welcome" are remnants of times gone by.  When people order at a restaurant they say, "I'll have" or "bring me".  Even "I would like" would be better, as least in my mind.  Perhaps I think too much about these things.   When you call some businesses or walk up to a service person the first thing you may hear is "account number".  Hello might be nice.  

I always told my daughters to expect any male with them to open every door  I went so far as to suggest they should freeze to death before opening their own door.   I remember watching an episode of Hollywood Squares a long time ago.  The question was how to order for a female and the correct answer, given by Michael Landon, was "and for the Lady".  That was many years ago and I still remember it.

I seldom observe a chair positioned by a male for a female and men don't stand up in the presence of a woman anymore.   Perhaps I watch too many old movies.  Maybe I've failed to change with the times.  It could be I was born in the wrong time period or the wrong country.  The Europeans seem to have had the most manners if films bear true witness.

"I beg your pardon" and "excuse me" are also less often used as far as I can tell.  Am I just getting old and wistful of a time and place that may have been even before my time?  Would I be happy wearing a derby or top hat and tipping it for every lady encountered?  Would I like calling every man sir and saying how do you do?    Should I shop for a cane or walking stick or perhaps carry an umbrella even when it's not raining like Mr. Steed of the "Avengers" television series?  

Is vulgarity now so acceptable that the F-word is tossed about by men, women and children alike?   Is crassness really preferable?   There was a time when if you saw someone being treated badly publicly you declared to the person to unhand whoever it was or you would grab the assailant by the scruff of the neck and toss him to the ground.   Well, perhaps that might be a bit much but you get my point.

I hear stories from young people, especially females, about how they are treated in the workplace by adults and managers who should know better and I want to go it and beat those in charge to a pulp.   These same managers are training young people how to interact with the public when they themselves don't know how to treat their employees.

Inappropriate behavior and conversation in mixed company also seems to be a thing of the past.  Sexual innuendo is mostly acceptable and tolerated.  It's a wonder there is a film or tv program suitable for viewing.
 
Well I guess I've said enough and maybe too much.  Maybe I am getting old.