Hidden treasures!

Hi Honey,

It is a new year and hopefully a happier one.  You and others reading this will understand that the extent of my joy is limited.  The sorrow of losing you is something that I guess will be less acute over time but nevertheless I cannot imagine ever experiencing total bliss in this life.

The apartment is a mess as we go through the process of putting Christmas away.  After that I hope to create a little more order than I had before.  Some headway was made in the weeks after you left but it's time to get back to it.   I am not going to mislead myself and make a bunch of resolutions and promises, later to be disappointed when some go unrealized.  There are a few ideas and notions that I would like to see come to pass.

I am about as excited as could be right now after finding something that was lost.  While putting away storage containers of decorations I spotted a garment travel bag which should have been empty.  It was out in the storage shed unprotected from cold and heat and somewhat crumpled.  Feeling the bag I realized there was something was inside.  Perhaps it was a shirt I had forgotten to unpack.  While still outside I pulled the zipper down enough to see the familiar lace collar of your wedding dress.  You could imagine my surprise and joy as I have looked for it before and thought it gone.   It is stained and musty but even so, I am so glad to have found such a part of who you are.

The company that sold us the dress is going to have it cleaned as well as possible and preserved.  I am having this done in honor of our upcoming 30th wedding anniversary.  I am really happy about this and look forward to it.  I also have your wedding veil and rings.   The only thing missing is you.  That wish could only be granted in my dreams.

While going through Christmas ornaments I found one which you made for me before we were married.   It is special as well as it is an embroidery of two little arms reaching out to hug me.  You would often draw these little arms at the bottom of your letters after you signed, "Love Fawn".   I am going to see if I can keep it preserved and turned into a bookmark.  

Hopefully I will stumble upon more treasures like these.  The wedding gown was a huge surprise and so was the ornament.  I cannot think of a better way to start this year than to have found these precious keepsakes.   They are so special and I am so glad to have them.

As always, I love you and miss you but with these treasures I feel a little closer to you.