This and that....

Hi Honey,

So much has happened since you went Heaven-bound.   We have added two new grandsons to the family.  I've been working a couple of jobs.  We've celebrated Thanksgiving and now are getting ready for Christmas.  

I still have many moments of despair and disbelief.  I try not to dwell on them but it isn't easy.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and although I see the same person as before, I am different.   I don't care to discuss the fact that I'm without you now so when I talk to people I often refer to you as though you were still here.  

This Friday is that day that everyone has been speaking of for a couple of years.  It will likely pass us by without incident and then it will be Christmas.  There you are with the person whose birthday we will be celebrating.  I can only imagine with that is like.  Of course we don't know when He was born.  Up there, I would not think birthdays matter much.  If you did celebrate I guess you wouldn't wish each other a Merry Christmas.  Instead it would be Happy Birthday to Jesus.  You must not really pray there because He is right there with you.  I supposed He is right here with me as well but you get to see him.

I've replaced my wedding ring with a black one.  I did not want to remove my other one but felt something needed to change.  I will try my best not to let Christmas be sad because you had to go.  It will be hard and I don't look forward to it.   It won't be the same without you.  

Well I really did not have much to tell you.  I guess I am just missing you as always and wanted to talk to you.  

Love you.