Being honest with you.

Hi Honey and everyone else,

Last night was difficult as we went through your recipe books and wished you were here to be with us.  I cannot pretend that we were strong and able to manage perfectly well.   It was an emotional evening and I would be lying if I said that the past few months have prepared us for this first holiday without you.

For us and everyone else who has to face this day after having lost someone important all I can say is that we have to go on even if we cry our way through these days and the days ahead.  I doubt if anyone expects people in our position to act as if everything is fine.  Not that we should walk around moping and forlorn.  That does no one any good.

I cannot bring my Fawn back.  The kids are sad without their mom even though they are grown.    I wish the grand kids could know her through more than photos and stories.   I'm sad to see her mom have to deal with the loss of her baby girl.   But all this sadness won't bring you back.

It's important to remember that even as we lose family members to Heaven they are not really lost.  Besides that, there are all the living still here.  It's ok to cry together but I don't want to be consumed with despair.  Right now it is hard not to be, I'll freely admit that.  I am having trouble taking my own advice.  All I can do is try my best.

Not a day or night goes by without my feeling the pain of your absence.  Thank God I get to see you again one day.  If anyone asks me what I am most thankful for today and everyday, it is the impending joy of being with you and the Lord for eternity and for those who are still here with me.